I’ve never been much a fan for drug testing. But as part of a new shitty little job I gotta test and piss in a cup. I got nothing to hide, my piss might as well be spring water for all that is known, but I still despise it. I always get people, usually named Jimmy, telling me “Well, if you’ve got nothing to hide, why are you so afraid of a Drug Test?”. Well Jimmy, I’ll tell you, but first let me present you with a little scenario.
You’re at the airport, just another guy waiting through the security. So you go through the metal detector and it goes off, so they direct you to a little room while they rummage through your things. And hour goes by and, of course, they find nothing but they still suspect you of carrying something. A big hairy guy comes in and says “I’m sure this will sound strange, but I assure you that this is all routine. Now then, we’re gonna have to do a cavity search.” You know what that means, they’re gonna probe your butt-hole. Are you gonna let them give you butt hole a thorough rub down with a latex glove? You don’t have anything to hide, so what are you afraid of Jimmy?!?!
The answer of course is no, you’re not going to give a strange man permission to excavate your ass (at least I hope most of you wouldn’t). You’d go about raving about the rights of your bunghole. And how every bunghole deserves proper treatment in the line of duty. Perhaps I’m being too tangential, the point is mandatory drug tests in everyday workplaces are an infringement on your privacy... and so is unwanted bunghole inspection.
